Friday, November 30, 2012


My reflection at the office window made me feel uncomfortable. It felt like seeing someone you don't know, and in a blink, you will realize that it was you – only way bigger.

I was glad I saw it.

And after so many years of being irresponsible with my food intake and not exercising, like a bad dream, it felt nice waking up.

I know. I can do this.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Eyes of The Emperor/Norwegian Wood Book Review

I finished two books this past week. My apologies for not even writing about them but I've been pretty lazy to even go online. I'm sure you don't mind.

Eyes of The Emperor is another loot from the Book Sale. I got it for PHP 70.00. It tells the story of an american soldier who has Japanese lineage during World War II. 

The conflict of the story is pretty interesting. After Pearl Harbor was bombed, most Japanese in the US experienced discrimination. And being Japanese who wants to serve the American army during that time can really get frustrating. Because of their ancestries, the Japanese soldiers were placed at the bottom of the army hierarchy (if there is such thing, im sorry) -- they were guarded, they were given the nastiest of jobs and they were placed in a mission that is really nothing but irrational. They were tasked to be targets for K-9 (dogs) units because someone was smart enough to propose that all Japanese individuals smells the same.

It is a good book. I guess because it has a theme that I haven't heard of, and it will teach you never to judge someone with the way they smell. 


Norwegian Wood on the other hand is another Haruki Murakami classic. And right now, it is tied with The Book Thief as the favorite book for 2012. Haha.

It still has the same Murakami magic where he will blow your mind away with his words. He will make you think about the conflict in each's characters. And everything seems so fluid and so artistic it feels like you are reading a poem. Norwegian Wood is epic.

Now that I am writing this, I figured that it is sort of like the same with Veronika Decides to Die. But I love this book more. Because it has a positive feel at the ending where the book will teach you to be strong in spite of all the struggles you face -- especially losing someone you love. 

Murakami is really good, but you have to make sure that you don't read his books consecutively. :)


Enjoy the rest of the weekend, everybody!

And yes, please see My Universe!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Stereotypes and Bugs

I have two friends in Guadalupe aside from Roommate. For this blog, we will just call them Tita M and Cyclops. Tita M owns the salon in front of our boarding house, he is now at his mid fifties, his hair is long though it is close to disappearing and he is my companion every time I want to drink. Cyclops, on the other hand, is my housemate. Like Tita M, he also has long hairs and he drinks hormone pills to give him the extra shape on his bosoms. Cyclops is aware of his lustful acts, and out of the three of us, he is the type who will do everything to get the man that he wants.

The three of us were talking about the new guy in the neighborhood – Baker Boy (BB). BB used to work in a Gay Bar, his body is okay and at some angles, he can be considered cute. He is also a bastard. He will just stay in the salon, acting cute and hot and he will do everything for you to notice him, he asks Tita M for money to pay his gym expenses Tita M even said that he show his willy whenever he has the chance.

Shocked, I gave BB the benefit of the doubt. However, the two of them confirmed that they already saw BB’s willy and what make things more confusing was they thought that I already saw it. I just told them hindi ah, at wala naman akong intensiyon na makita yun.

They said, lalaki na nga ang gumagawa noon, ayaw mo pa? naging bading ka pa which made me post this on my FB page.


When I accepted me, I prepared myself for the stereotype and the discrimination that straight people might shoot at me. However, I am not ready for the things that people like me may say. I am aware of my naughty and lustful side, and I am being honest when I say that it never shows up every time. It will not show when I am drinking with guys. It doesn’t appear when a random teenager invites me to his place on my way home. And it will never show if a bastard will just show his willy in exchange of a price. The idea is too extreme for me. And I am way better than that.

While someone like me thinks that you must grab every opportunity that may come your way, my mind will think of all the consequence with all my actions. While Cyclops formulates ways on how he can get his ways with my hot roommate, I always find ways to resist being tempted. And while Tita M pays for all the guys he sleeps with, I am already financial planning, thinking if the experience will be worth it. Most of the time, my head always tells me that it is not. Haha.

People must understand that though we are the same at some aspects, there are certain things that still differ. For me, I don’t have the guts. And I choose not to do such acts because most of the time, my conscience hits me. I really have no problems with what people do, if you are happy living your life the way you want to live it, then I will always be happy for you. But always stick to what is right. Always believe in your values. And if people do things differently, let them be. Mind your own business.

We will always try our best to be better than someone else. We will use everything we have to be unique. It may make us all the same but still, we have our own playing fields. Fight your own battles and never get involve in someone else’s.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

All I Want For Christmas Year 3!

Definitely, there is no stopping Christmas!

A year ago, I joined this cool activity where bloggers exchange gifts. It sounds out of this world. At first, I never even thought that it may happen, but it did. Who would have thought that I will meet my amazing blogger friends with the activity?

To continue the tradition, PM started another exchange gift activity. Yey! It is more meaningful this time because PM and I were already talking about it on Skype. Yes, we are excited. We already discussed who we can drag into the activity. And yes, since it’s been a year, probably we can have more people join the activity.

How does it work?

Okay, I will just tell you what I did last year. First you have to create a post where you will share your wish list. It is called the All I Want For Christmas post. Make sure your list is doable, minimum amount is PHP 200. After making your post, visit PM’s post here, and leave a comment. This will help her collect the names of the people who are interested to join.

On November 30, PM will post on her blog the pairs. Then the partners exchange gifts, you can send your gifts via mail, or you can meet your partner just like what Ayla and I did a year ago. If the instructions are still not clear, you can always check the mechanics on PM’s page.

The activity is really fun. Reading all the wish lists, knowing who is your partner and getting your gifts makes me more excited about the whole activity.

To my blogger friends, I am seriously hoping that you can join us this year. This is really a cool meet new people and gain more blogger friends. I can always testify to that. So please, please, pretty please, join us this year! It will make the spirit of giving more exciting.

Here’s my wish list. To my future partner, please be very good to me. Kidding.

Something small: Naruto Key Chains

Something big: A Big Orange Bag Pack:

Something cute: Akatzuki Mug

Something soft: Pillows will do.

Something techie: Flash drive.

Something fancy: Man, this is tough. Okay, Olay Total Effects facial wash. :D

Something (Orange):  Zen Zest Linen Sprays (The bottles are orange).

 Something wearable: Keffiyeh Scarf!

Something you need: I know I need a lot of things but I cannot think of one now. Damn! Okay, alarm clock!

Something you can use for work: Coasters. Don’t ask why. LOLS

Something sweet: Reese’s!

All I (really, really) Want for Christmas is: I lost my Power of Six book, oh well. That is what I really really want!

Merry Christmas Everyone!


Photo from Here and the amazing

Please visit my Universe!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Queues and Conversations

I used to share a room with two other people – they are brothers and they are both gay. It never started that way, Roommate and I shared the room for three months until his brother made a sudden decision to fly to Manila for work. The three of us are living together in one room for a month now.

I made a decision to move out.

When my Roommate's Brother (RB) moved in with us, I expected that the bills will be divided into three. Three people sharing one room should divide all the expenses between the three of them. I was also expecting that the bills will be divided into two people. RB doesn't have any job, yet. And since my roommate and I have been friends for quite a while now, I really don't want him having a hard time covering most of their expenses.

The latter option happened, and now my mind is perplexed.

It is really not my nature to dwell too much about money. My friends can testify how generous I can get. Obviously, the former option will work best for me. Less expense means more savings, right? All the people I talked to about the set up of our room agreed with the idea. However, when you know somebody pretty well and you consider each other as friends, my side of the story can be considered as selfish.

Roommate (RM) was in Galera when I talked to him about the set up. It was really uncomfortable talking about it. However, if we will not fix it now, we will suffer more. After I told him not to get offended, I went straight to my point.

Aren't we supposed to divide the expenses into three? You know, the rent, electric bills, etc ME.

The Electricity, I agree. However, for the rent, I don't. I am having a hard time sleeping. RM

Okay, that is fine. I'm glad we talked about this; at least it cleared the air. ME.

That is all I want. I just need to understand where he was coming from. Since the brothers sleep together in one bed, it is really difficult for them.

 We were quiet for a while, and then he continued.

If you are having a hard time with the set up, just tell me, we can move out.

I fix my stare on the screen, concentrating with what to say next.

Are you having a hard time na? ME

Nahihirapan akong matulog. RM.

That was my queue. I need to be careful with what I will say because it will define how the following days will turn out.

You guys don't need to move out, I have lesser stuff, and it will be easier for me compared to you both. ME.

I always believe that even the most sensitive of topics can be fixed with a good conversation. And I know with what happened, I know it will be the best option. It upsets me a bit, but it's something that I can't bear. What just frustrates me is that I have to move my things again, but I've done such a lot of times. Too much, that it has been a piece of cake.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

To The Right One,

I always wonder how the two of us will meet.
Maybe we will meet at a beach. While sitting alone at the sand staring at the horizon, you will seat beside me. You will ask me if I am waiting for somebody. Actually, I am, I am waiting for the sun to set. I will say. Confused, you will ask why. And then I will say, I love the color of the sunset – it's orange.
Maybe we will meet at a bar somewhere. I will be on my way home then we will bump into each other. We will exchange hellos. Then you will ask me to dance; I will say no. You will ask why; I will say I am leaving. You will ask me to have coffee instead; I will say yes. You will say you thought I was leaving; I will say that I will always have time for coffee.
It's insane, but maybe we will meet at a church. We will be force to hold each other's hands because of the Our Father song. While concentrating on my prayers, your index finger will rub my hands. Your right hand is soft, and I will feel the electricity surging into my soul. The prayer will be done, and you will grip my left hand before you let it go. I will look at you, and then will notice your eyes, and then we will exchange smiles.
It will be the best if the two of us will meet at a bookstore. We will fight over a book because it's the only copy left in the whole store. Both of us will not give in, and in the end, we will just agree that we will share.
I can fantasize about a lot of things. Imagine all the weird instances where our souls will meet. Only to realize that amidst all the idiosyncrasies, what matters is we will meet.
To begin with, let me start by saying that I am not the romantic type. I am really not good with flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals and all the sweet things that you may consider cherishing because of its sentimental value. Do not expect me to hold your hand and kiss your cheek in public because I always find that stuff awkward. Never expect too much because all I can do is give you is my very best. I may not give you stuff but I will show you how much you mean to me. I can get pretty good with words. I can write you a poem, sing your favorite song, try to cook your favorite food, and be interested with the things you are interested to. I may not give the PDA that you've dreamed for but you can always assure that I will be there for you. Good and bad, happy and sad, in victories and defeat, I swear, I will always be there.
I used to have a perfect image of you. Growing up, I always have a vision of what you will be like.
However, now, all that matters is that you will love me the way I will always love you. We will support each other's goals. Never question the time and the affection spent or not spent with each other. Though we may turn too complex for each other, we will compromise. We will understand. You will always love the people that I love the same way I will value all the people that matters to you.
And in moments where the two of us will be challenge, I swear I will do my best to hang on to love. I will fight with all my might in order to make things right. But make sure that we will face everything as mature individuals. We will talk things out, we will listen and never interrupt, and we will just try committing fewer mistakes afterwards.
I know that your presence will take a while. I've been waiting for quite a while now, and I am sure, I can wait a few more. I bet you are also tired of waiting but the universe will bring us together, all we have to do is just believe. While doing that, let's prepare ourselves for the big moment. Let's do our best to make sure that once we meet each other, our hands will fit perfectly.
Just take care of yourself. I am not there yet to get you water and feed you medicines when you are not feeling well.
I always pray for you.
And like always, I'll be saving all my love for you.
Forever and always,
I was inspired to write this by Bagotilyo's post. You can read his letter to his future wife here.
And yes, please do check My Universe! Follow niyo na rin po. Thanks. :) 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Sta Mesa Chronicles Part 1: Si Momentz at Si Jazmine

Okay, tagalog lang po. LOL.

Nung naisip kong sulatin ang mga kaartehan kaganapan ng buhay ko sa Sta Mesa, alam ko na sila ang unang dalawang taong isusulat ko. Sila sina Momentz and Jazmine, siyempre nick name lang nila yun. Honestly, mas pang babae pa ang pangalan ko sa kanila, pero sina Moments and Jazmine, mga babae na ngayon. LOL.

Nakilala ko sila sa pangalawa kong boarding house. Hanggang ngayon hindi ko maisip paano ba kami naging close. Siguro dahil sobrang magkakaiba kami, nabalanse namin ang isa't isa. Ako yung weird, si Momentz ang mean girl ang peg, tapos si Jazmine ang Ms. Congeniality, kapag magkakasama kami, automatic, parang amin ang Road 2.

Si Momentz, siya ang pinakaprangka sa aming tatlo, sasabihin niya lahat ng gusto niya, gagawin niya ang mga bagay na sa tingin niya ay tama, at kapag kinanti mo siya, siguradong gagawin niyang miserable ang buhay mo. Momentz graduated as a Salutatorian of his class. Matalino talaga si bakla, at hindi lang yun, magaling din siyang magproject sa mga pictorials. Si Momentz, mas maagang nag work sa akin. Siguro pagkatungtong palang niya sa Manila, naghanap na kaagad siya ng work. LOL. Kadalasan Momentz and I clash, clash meaning walang usapan ng pagkatagal tagal. Sobrang daming pagkakataon na nasubukan ang pagkakaibigan naming dahil sa mga ugali namin, pero ang mahalaga, naayos namin ang mga bagay bagay sa pagitan namin.

Si Jazmine naman, siya yung social butterfly. Siya yung mahilig magpatawa, laging patok ang mga jokes, at kapag humirit siya, sigurado kong tatawa ka ng wagas. Si Jazmine, siya yung mas sensitive sa aming tatlo. Umiiyak kapag nanonood ng Wish Ko Lang, kakantahin ang Let's Get Loud para antukin, at aarte ng wagas kapag inasar, pero bigla ka namang patatawanin. Basta, walang malungkot na sandali kapag kasama mo siya. Kapag nagaway kami ni Momentz, asahan mo, si Jazmine ang gagawa ng paraan para magkaayos kami.

Ilang beses din ata kaming muntikang mabarangay dahil sa mga tiliang nagaganap sa madaling araw. Ilang beses na rin naming dineny ang mga kalandian na ginawa ng isa't isa. Ilang ex ko na ang nakilala nila samantalang silang dalawa, puro "kaibigan" lang daw. Haha.

Hindi naman puro pagkakaiba ang mayroon  kami. Pare-parehas kaming breadwinner habang nagaaral kami, pareparehas kaming magmamahal ng wagas pero parang gusto lang ata sa amin ay maging kaibigan lang, at pare parehas kaming nangangarap ng mas magandang buhay. Pare parehas kaming maka Nanay,

Habang sinusulat ko ito, namimiss ko sila, ang matapang na hirit ni Momentz, ang mga jokes ni Jazmine na kailangan mong sakyan kung hindi maasar ka, at ang mga sandaling nagkukwentuhan lang kami ng matagal sa labas ng bahay namin. Isa lang ang totoo ngayon, kung may pagkakataon na kasama ko ulet silang dalawa sa bahay, hindi talaga ako magdadalawang isip.

Marami pang kwento ang Sta Mesa. At alam ko, ngayong napakilala ko na silang dalawa, madali ng isalaysay ang lahat.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Shooting Kabul Book Review

By: N.H. Senzai

I got the book for fifty bucks at the NBS book sale at Megamall. Isn’t that a steal? I never appreciated book sales because most of the books being sold there doesn’t fits my interest. However, reading Khaled Hosseini’s work made me more interested in the land-locked country. You can read my thoughts on Hosseini’s work here. For now, we will concentrate on Shooting Kabul.

What is it about: Shooting Kabul is a story about an Afghan family who left their country while the Talibans were still in power. It was all Walt Disney like until the youngest member in the family was accidentally left behind when they escaped. Yes, a six year old girl was left behind in Afghanistan while the Talibans ban a lot of stuff and make people miserable in their own country.

I want to think that this book is really how the family blamed themselves because of Miriam’s lost, however, almost every one who knows them told them that it was faith that the poor little girl got separated.

What I love about it: The main character in the book, Fadi, will impress you. He really beat the hell out of him when Miriam got separated. He was so persistent in getting her sister back. I also adore how important family to the Afghans, seriously, they have honors and codes that needs to be followed.

Fadi also has photography skills. He used this to get his sister back.

What I hate about it: Granted, I really don’t like the Talibans. I also like the fact that a Filipino was the bad guy in the story. Haha. Sorry, I’m patriotic. But I never expected how the book ended. Yes, it has a great conflict and you will be really curious about how will they get the girl back. When it ended, I was like, seriously? Is that it? Haha.

The book is an easy read. Definitely, your kids will like it. It’s a children’s book, by the way. Now, I am thinking why I get it. Haha.

Oh, Please do check My Universe! Follow niyo na rin po. Thanks. :) 

Sunday, November 4, 2012

How I Tolerate My Extended Family

There are things in life that you cannot choose – one of them is your relatives.

Compared to my mom's family, I am really not close with my Father's folks. When I was still a kid, I never really get excited every time I will meet them. Every time there will be a reunion or a gathering, I make excuses, but since my Mom told me that we are a "family," it still feel that being in such events will be an obligation.

I never understand my Father's family. In one of the events I attended, you saw them happily helping each other cooking dinner but after one part of the clan left the house, the rest will start talking about them. My mom and I will just exchange glances after I let out a sigh of how complicated our clan is.

In my family, everyone has secrets. And everyone's secrets will be revealed, either accidentally or intentionally. Someone will say something nasty behind his back and I really don't like that.

Extended family members can be really frustrating.

I have this uncle who now lives in California. After I saw him on Facebook, and since we are "family," I sent him t usual, Hi Tito, Kamusta? Only to be given an unexpected reply. After he said hello, he said, sino ang magulang mo? Okay, he doesn't know me, but maybe he just doesn't remember me, right? I was still polite when I said the name of my Dad. Finally, he remembered me. The next thing I ask was where he is residing in California? Since I used to work in a BPO, I have an idea of American geography, but he was nice enough to answer me, pag sinabi ko ba sa iyo, alam mo ba ito? I went offline after I read that.

I told my Mom what happened and she just kept on laughing while I told her how irritated I felt. She just reminded me to never talk to my Uncle again because that uncle has a nature of really irritating people even though he is not doing anything. True.

When I celebrated my birthday last September, while I was so happy with all the messages posted on my timeline, I noticed that my Uncle greeted me. He said, Happy Birthday Relative.

That one, I cannot pass. I remove my Uncle on my friends' list afterwards.

There are things in life that you cannot choose. One of them is your extended family. Though I know that I am at the stage of my life where I have the opportunity to change things, I'd rather not do anything with them. Because even though that they say nasty things behind each other's back and they don't know who is their relative or not, they are still family and they are part of the shadows that I need to embrace. 

Oh, Please do check My Universe! Follow niyo na rin po. Thanks. :) 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Shadow Clones

A Round Table Challenge

It was dark. The air tear up every flesh I have. And the silence is haunting. My feet touched nothing. I was floating. I was dreaming.

I adjusted my stare on the void in front of me, three spotlights suddenly light up. One on my left, another on my right, and the last one glare in front of me. The lights were blinding, It made my eyes burn. Slowly, they started to flicker. I tried to close my eyes however there was something in the shimmering motion that kept me staring wide awake. The lights glittered faster. And there I stand, hypnotized, confused, and curious. Then, there was darkness.

Once the lights flashed up again, I knew I was on a nightmare. There were three individuals underneath the spotlight. They all look like me however their auras were different.

The one on my left has fire in his eyes. It carries all my pains, hatred and regrets. He stares wickedly. His grin frightens me. I knew that my version on the left doesn’t trust easily. He can get rude, condescending and selfish. Me on the left can be deceiving. He can break people’s hearts like smashing a mirror without bleeding his hands. Then, with a dark voice, he started to speak. I am the one you don’t want to be, but I am a part of you. And I am here to fight with you.


I looked away, and then focused on the individual on my right. He looks at me compassionately. I can sense his sensitivity, amiability and kindness. After he acknowledged my presence, he gave me a warm smile. He was nice, and I like him. He made me feel that I am on a Walt Disney film where everything is bright and sunny. He reminded me how I am with my family and friends – selfless. And I just want to stay with him. He gave me another pleasant smile before he said, I am the one you must continue becoming. And let me remind you, I am just here.


Finally, I stare at the person in front of me. We look the same, but he stood firm on the air we were trapped in. His eyes were cold as the arctic sea. It was powerful. His strength overpowers the two people on my left and right. I knew that his confidence intimidates people. I know that people consider him a rebel because of his i don’t care attitude. Without smiling, he said, I am the one you portray. And you must always remember that I will give you the strength you need.


Then, there was darkness.

The spotlight is under me now. And the three individuals shown before were now beside me. I looked at them again, trying to understand what was happening. The first one still looks at me with rage, the next one still has its kindness, and the last still look proud. Suddenly, the three embrace me. And as they enveloped me with their power, I now know what will happen next.

They will become me.

7. Jungian Concept of Individuation