Sweet Dreams

Title from Beyonce

The Supermarket is an hour and a half away from where we live in the province. It is always tedious going there. My mom and I were shopping for leche flan, a favorite during Christmas. Our family love all things sweet.

I placed five condensed milk on our basket, my mom then looked at the price and said, Ay, mas mura dun sa suke ko sa palengke, doon nalang tayo bumili.

I returned the milk on the cabinet. We then went to the aisle were the sugar can be find. My mom got it this time, checked the price, and said ay, dun narin tayo bumili nito sa palengke, mas mura doon. All I can say was okay.

I then picked the Cream that we will need for the Buko Salad. My mom checked again the price and when she was about to say something, I interrupted her. Haha! Mama, hindi tayo nagbiyahe ng malayo para bumalik lang sa palengke, ako ang magbabayad nito kaya don’t worry, okay?

She just said, Alam ko naman na ikaw ang magbabayad nito, kaya nga gusto ko doon tayo bibili sa mura para mas madami tayong mapapakain sa libre mo. Pati ngayon ka na nga lang umuwi, magbonding muna tayo ng mas matagal.

All I can say is, Tara na nga! We left the supermarket buying nothing. :)

My mom really has creative ways of getting into my nerves, but she also has wonderful ways of making me smile. I think I got my impulsiveness and weirdness from my mother and I am really proud of that. :)

Mothers really have the best job in the world. Too bad, I will never be one. Hahaha!

Happy Mother’s Day to your Mom!

Photo Credit

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The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Happiness and one of the Five Senses

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: Happiness and Olfaction, A Series
• citybuoy: hearing
• The Orange Wit: Sweet Dreams 

The Best Days

I still don’t understand why people here wake up at 5:30 in the morning. Who wakes up at five o clock, right? However the cold wind is biting, like needles piercing thru your warm skin. I love the sweet morning air in Sariaya, it is so refreshing. However, the provincial environment makes me feel so slow, and I am not used to it.

Then I hear her voice, she was shouting my mother’s name.  I think that it is the only name she knows now. At the age of 92, it still surprise us that she can still remember her mother’s name though she already forget how to pee and defecate properly. She doesn’t even remember the people around her. She gets irritated easily. My nephews and nieces went to the house yesterday and she was shouting asking them to leave because they were so noisy. One morning as I pass her bed, she started shouting at me telling me that she doesn’t know me, and she just asks me to leave. Every time I checked on her, she will always be like that, as if I was a complete stranger to her. Since my grandmother gets hysterical every time she saw me, my mom told me to just stay out of her way, which I did.

It saddens us seeing her that way. She was just lying on her bed, having a hard time to even sit. The other day, she just said that when she died, she wants her wake to be a feast. Monday, we will serve spaghetti, Tuesday, pansit, Wednesday, chicken soup, Thursday, Chicken Sotanghon, and on Friday we have to serve Pansit habhab. Nakakahiya daw sa mga bisita niya, she said. She continued, saying that we should get her a good coffin so that she will not fall, she already said where she wants her grave to be in, and we should not even worry because there will be money that we can use for her.

However, my mom, my aunt, and I are used to this. My grandmother giving us instructions on the things that we should do and us telling her that she will have another birthday and we promise that it would be grand. We told her that everyone will be there, it will have all of her favorite foods, and we will all wear her favorite color – red. However she just said that we should just save the money for the wake.

I watched my mom remove her beddings while she continued talking. She started calling my Grandfather’s name now. My mom will always be teary eyed while my aunt and I will just watch.

Zaida (my mom’s name), alagaan mo ang sarili mo ha. Wag mong papabayaan si Nita (my aunt) ha, magtutulongan kayo.

My mom just remains silent while she continue fixing my grandmother’s stuff.

Alagaan mo ang bahay, wag mo hahayaan na may ibang tumira. Pero pag yung apo ko na paborito, papatirahin mo ha.

My Aunt and I stare at each other. Surprisingly, my grandmother has a favorite grandchild. It was so intriguing because my grandma was never known to play favorites. She bitches on all of her family members in a caring, funny and tolerable way. She loves giving out orders and she makes sure that what she wants, she gets. We started to smile as we eagerly wait for a name to be called by my grandmother.

Patitirahin mo si Lourdjenn ha.

My Mom then looked at me while my Aunt and I started laughing. It’s nice knowing that my grandmother remembers my name though she doesn’t remember how I look like. Now, I understand why Karen while smiling on that old McDonalds Commercial.

Yes! Very Karen ang peg!

I miss you Inana. RIP.

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The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Amnesia

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: Amnesia, A Series
• citybuoy: blackout
• The Orange Wit: The Best Days

Alligator Sky

Article taken from Adam Young’s blog.

You’re absolutely beautiful
and
I honestly wouldn’t want to be anywhere else
but I can never hold her gaze

We stood like strangers on the beach
and I wanted to
talked things over

We sat around a blazing bonfire
and
I can’t remember where she came from

"The sun rises and sets in those eyes"

I want something flowery and bright
yet something show
ON A WHITE BACKGROUND

I became inspired to live brighter

I slipped into the water
threatening adventure
I had no idea what to expect
and something happened.

complete darkness.

Everything is moving in squares
in a strange way.
I felt good
And yet, guilty
I'm so undeserving of Your grace

they all look at me
And when that happens, everything
becomes tolerable, passable, admirable, moral,
legal, and even applaudable

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The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Crazy-Happiness

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: Crazy-Happiness, A Series
• The Orange Wit: Alligator Sky
• Citibuoy: HeatStroke

Battlefield

Our story can be divided in seven parts.

1. We become more than friends.

2. We lived together in the same house.

3. After three months, we broke up after I found out that you were cheating with me.

4. Two months later, we were together again because you found out that your buddy was a gold digger.

5. Three months of stupidity happiness. Pak!

6. You cheated again with another guy.

7. We parted ways.

I was nineteen when all of this happened. He was five years my senior and when our relationship took placed, most of the time, I was confused. At that point, I don’t understand why a guy cheats on another guy. Hence, cheating will always be cheating. It will always be wrong though all the right reasons makes cheating seemed correct. It will always be better to say the truth – as much as it hurts, though.

Our last fight was epic.

 

At his age (24) he was still not familiar with Friendster. Friendster was like Facebook during that time. Everyone was asking someone else for a testimonial. Friendster also has themes, I still remember that mine was Detective Conan inspired, it has shades of blue and black and a lot of other cool stuff. His page was just the generic page. Being the internet savvy type that I was, I volunteered to place a theme on his page, and he said yes. He gave me his password for Friendster. After creating magic on his profile page, I was expecting that he will changed his password, however he didn’t.

While we were still together, I never opened his page. It was really not my thing to meddle on other people’s turf; also, nothing is interesting on his profile. Why bother, right?

However, the second time he cheated on me, I was really mad. Imagine forgiving someone and doing the same hideous act to you? I remember sitting on an internet café close to crying however since I was infuriating with rage, I just can’t cry. Staring at my Friendster blog, I was trying to pour everything that I felt but I don’t even know where to start. Then the idea entered my mind, I logged in his account and to my surprise, after several months of reminding him, he still doesn’t change it.

Everything happened very quickly. I immediately went to his account settings and changed the password of his account. But a better idea came to mind; I returned to his settings and just deleted everything away. If someone will look for his Friendster account, he will never be found.

Later that night, we were fighting. Literally fighting! I went to work with a scratch on my face and he doesn’t go to work at all because his body was in pain. I was bigger than him so he really had a hard time. It was violent, and I never want it to happen again.

However, revenge is always sweet. It was surprising that I was smiling after I almost left him unconscious. I never felt the guilt, not even close to pitying him. I know he deserve that, and after everything he did to me, I deserve it as well. He must learn to understand that some people will not choose to get hurt, sometimes, they will not even get close to being mad, and they will get even.

The incident sealed everything. It was the best closure possible for the two of us – no apologies, not even talking, just a few bruises and his head aching in pain.

It was over and I was happy.

 

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The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: A Criminal Mind

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: A Criminal Mind, A Series
• The Orange Wit: Battlefield
• Spiral Prince: A Criminal Mind, Free Fall
• iamrei: Summer Stain Anthem

Fix You

 

When things gets worst, he will be there,

He may not satisfy you physically but he knows where you want to be kissed. What part of your body you want to be warm. How passionate an embrace can get. And how passionate and crazy in bed you can become.

He may not hold your hand but he knows when you need someone.

He understand why you are sad. He knows when you are feeling down and close to giving up. He memorized your weaknesses and acknowledge them with an open mind. He will even help you write an emo blog post just to make sure that you will be able to express yourself on your page. He will be there in times of trouble, when you are heart broken, and when you have no one. He will not just give you the motivation that you need, but he will also make sure that you will keep on fighting. For him, as long as two of you are together, no challenge will ever be hard enough.

For him, you are beautiful – almost close to being perfect. He is aware how you should fix your hair, what angles do you give for photoshoots, and what clothes you need to wear. Personality wise, he knows what characteristics you do well and you need to work on. He is familiar with your mood swings, he will be more patient the moment you lose it, and he will be kind the event you became mean. There may be emotions that you will never learn to control, but for him, all you just need is guidance.

No one is as talented as you, He is sure of that. You may not qualify for American Idol but for him your voice is the only melody he wants to listen to. You may have two left feet but you are the only dancing partner he wants to dance with. For him, you are the best and you will always be.

He will never leave you, upset you and even break your heart. He will push you to your limits when he need to, not because he wants to bully you but because he trust you. He will cry with you, fall with you, get crazy with you and always be happy for you.  He understands what matters, and for him, you are the only thing that matters.

You may cry because of someone else, maybe because of a broken heart, but he will still be there. He will wait for you to come to him and give you that comforting embrace that you know you need. He will tell you that all is fine, that you will be able to get through the pain, and you will find someone better. In the event you lose hope, he will even help you pray.

                                     

He is the world's best lover. You will never see him, but you know he is just there. He is just within yourself, all you have to do is sometimes listen.

Be the best lover of yourself. Then, he will help you be the best lover for someone else.

 

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The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: A Lover

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: A Lover, A Series
• citybuoy: doodling
• Spiral Prince: Touch and Go
• The Orange Wit: Fix You
• ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔: Underneath His Clothes

 

Crazier

*play this first*

I'd never gone with the wind. Just let it flow. Let it take me where it wants to go.

It started with a stare. I was sitting on a coffee shop in front of the mall’s cinema when I saw you. I noticed you right away. Your nerdy ways impressed me.

You open the door, there’s so much more, I've never seen it before

I saw you smirk. Probably you noticed me watching you. You then pretend to be busy with your mobile phone, you even acted like you were talking to someone over it. It was cute. Everything about you was cute.

I was trying to fly but I couldn't find my wings, but you came along and you changed everything

Anxious, I immediately grabbed my stuff, made my last stare and walked my way to the escalator to get out of the building and smoke. It might be the last time I will see you. I try to memorize how you looked – from the way you stand to the way you carried your red rucksack. However, you followed me. I tried to haste however you catch up. Finally, you said hi.

You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier

My mom said that I should not talk to strangers. It’s wrong meeting people this way. But there was something right in all the things that were wrong that day. I just cannot point my fingers on it. Then, I said hello.

Feels like I’m fallin’, and I Am lost in your eyes

You were perfect. The way you handle a conversation and your confidence blew me away. You said you were waiting for someone, and I just don’t care. Maybe he’s important but that person has to wait.

You make me crazier, crazier, and crazier

I was also waiting for someone, but I just don’t want the feeling to end. The sudden rush of blood, the butterflies on my stomach, and the fireworks, they were everywhere.

I've watched from a distance as you made life your own every sky was your own kind of blue

But we have to let go. Yes, the conversation was awesome, the sparks were there, but we are living separate lives. We have separate lives with somebody else.

And I wanted to know how that would feel and you made it so real

We exchanged numbers, and then we meet again. It was weird how I acted after we met. I started deleting all my messages on my phone, that way, if ever someone checks, your messages will not reflect. I even named you after a girl officemate, lied about my whereabouts, and went with you somewhere far where no one can recognized us.

You showed me something that I couldn't see you opened my eyes And you made me believe

Yes, we love each other. We were selfish. Both of us know that what we had was hurting people, what we have was wrong. Hence, You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around, you make me crazier, crazier. Feels like I’m fallin’, and I Am lost in your eyes,You make me crazier, crazier, and crazier.

Baby you showed me what livin' is for

Guilt started to sink in. People started to know what we were doing. Happiness really has its price. Being happy for the wrong reasons will always make us unhappy.

I don't wanna hide anymore

We decided to end this.

You lift my feet off the ground

You spin me around

You make me crazier, craizer

Feels like im fallin' and I

Am lost in your eyes

You make me crazier, crazier, crazier

Crazier, crazier,

 

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It all started with a tweet. Can emo bloggers change their stripes? Blog superstar Spiral Prince and I shall attempt to do just that. The rules are simple. Write ten consecutive happy posts. If you falter, you have to write five more. *gulp*

I decided to use song titles for this, that way I won’t be confused. :)

The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Madness

• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: Madness, A Series
• Sitting Pretty: Lazy Madness
• citybuoy: irresistible
• Spiral Prince: Ash Wednesday
• ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔: SimSimi and The Banana Song
• The Orange Wit: Crazier

Rainbow

The rain just stopped. My friends and I were standing on our rendezvous spot. It was an old waiting shed in our subdivision overlooking the South Expressway. From there, you can see the cars in red, blue, silver and black. It was also the perfect spot if you want to see the wide blue sky.

Autumn in my Heart lang ang peg!

Kate said that we have to be patient, something beautiful will happen.

She was a big know it all. Being the tallest in our group, she already claimed the lead position in our little troop. Kate has these weird ideas and activities that kept us busy throughout the day. She taught me how to ride a bike, take care of a duckling and draw.

Patience started to drift away. I was tired, starving and cold but she insisted that we should just wait because something beautiful will happen. Ano bang inaantay natin? I said. But she just remained quiet, she focused on the vast sky in front of her while me and my friends don’t understand what was going on.

Ayun, nakita niyo yun? She screamed in excitement. Tignan niyo lang ang direksyon na tinitignan ko at makikita niyo ang nakikita ko. Hindi ko pwedeng ituro kasi baka maputol daliri ko, dali kayo!

Immediately, we followed. What we saw was magnificent. It was a combination of seven colors that bend through the horizon. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. ROY G BIV! Pak!

It was the first time I saw a rainbow in person.

I really can’t explain the feeling when I saw it, the feeling was like eating your favorite ice cream, with the marshmallow and the nips on top of it. It was way better than the cartoons you watch at 10 am in channel two. It was better than Cedie, Sarah and Remi combined.

Mama said that at the end of the rainbow, there was a pot of gold. I really don’t care about the gold at its end, because the rainbow was so pretty that no amount of gold can match it. I also cannot see its end.

Rainbow still fascinates me. I still even catch myself waiting for the rain to stop just to see it. 

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It all started with a tweet. Can emo bloggers change their stripes? Blog superstar Spiral Prince and I shall attempt to do just that. The rules are simple. Write ten consecutive happy posts. If you falter, you have to write five more. *gulp*

I decided to use song titles for this, that way I won’t be confused. :)

The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: A Happy Childhood Memory

• Spiral Prince: Wishing Stars
• citybuoy: segueing cousins
• Sitting Pretty: Grab My Hand
• ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: A Happy Childhood Memory, A Series
• Manila Bitch: Rigasyon
• iamrei: Photographs

At The Beginning

We used to love nights like this. The two of us smoking in our boarding house’s terrace while watching the moon, the stars and all the strangers that passed by in front of us. We shared coffee and a lot of Korean songs that though we don’t understand, we still sing along.

Moments like these matters to us. You said once that what was important was just the two of us – no expensive dates, no beautiful views, and no scrumptious food can even match the time we spent with each other. Simple things always make us happy and you just don’t know how happy I was.

But this night was different. The moon and the stars were hiding behind the dark clouds. Strangers still passed in front of us but we don’t seem to notice. What remains was our pack of cigarettes to beat the biting cold the December air bring. The music… no longer there, what we just have is silence. You, me and the night that will change what we had forever.

Two years. A lot of things can happen in two years. And both of us understand that sometimes our dreams will always get in our way. We have family to support, siblings that need good education, and a better life that we always wanted ever since the two of us were kids. We decided to go on our separate ways and promised each other that if ever faith will bind us together again, we will be happier.

I know you were just doing this for your dreams and I cannot be happier, but it just sucks losing you.

This night will be different. It will be the night that I must start getting used to watching the stars alone.

This is the night that you will say goodbye, and I know that the moon and the millions stars above will never be the same again.

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It all started with a tweet. Can emo bloggers change their stripes? Blog superstar Spiral Prince and I shall attempt to do just that. The rules are simple. Write ten consecutive happy posts. If you falter, you have to write five more. *gulp*

I decided to use song titles for this, that way I won’t be confused. :)

The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Prologue

· Spiral Prince: Vintage Truths

· citybuoy: side x side (II)

· Manila Bitch: Surviving Ennui

· ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ: A Prologue, A Series

· iamrei: 10:29:46pm

·The Orange Wit: At The Beginning