Olivia

If you had a clean state, are there things that you'd like to change? Or would you want things to stay the same?

I always believe that I am not a clean slate - and I will never be one. Life will be too boring if we will always keep on doing the right things. 

Changes will always be good. There are things that I definitely want to do differently, this year. However, I am in a stage where I have to be extra cautious with all the things I am doing. Though it is hard to admit, all of us are not getting any younger. In every decision we will make, we have to think of how it will affect us in a longer scale.

However, I know I will still have my positive attitude next year. I am sure. Every experience, good or bad, no matter what it is, you will learn from it. It's just life. 

Happy New Year everyone! :D

9: Starting Over

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Spiral Prince

Bente Siete

Two days ago, I got this message on my email.

Isn’t that sweet? Though I rarely use Jobstreet now, they still take the effort to greet me, and they did it two days before.

Last night, when I check my Google account, I saw this.

Definitely, this is way too awesome!

Who would have thought that this you normally do online will make your day more exciting?

Thanks to everyone who took time to remember me in this glorious day! You guys definitely make aging more exciting!

Birthdays will always be one of the Best. Day. Ever!

Aura

You will never see me making eye contacts in public. I really cannot even explain how uncomfortable it is to me. Yes, you may find me in front of our house, with a cigarette on one hand and my cell phone on the other, but that is it. If someone passed by, I will check him but he will never notice that I am looking at him. Once he notices, I will go inside.

In a club, you will often see me with my friends. And in the once in a blue moon instance where I will join them, you will never see me flirting with the cute guy on the side. You will not see me bump him, or touch his hand, and make the moves to be noticed. I never imagine myself kissing someone at dark part of the club, or dancing in the ledge while someone is touching you all over, haha. I will dance because my friends are dancing and I guess, that is the reason why you are partying, right? You will never see me in the restroom, making eye contact with the guy who you are sharing the mirror with. And if someone smiled at me, you will see me rushing to our table.

Never will you see me spend some time at one place in the mall. No, you will never find me talking to some random people like me near the escalator, or the food court, or even at the cinema lobby. When you find me in the mall, you will see me in three places – the bookstore, the department store and Greenwich.

Yes, I know, I can get weird. I heard that a lot of times. Sometimes, I even hear my friends telling me that I should learn how to get malandi. But, I think that is something that I am really struggling with.

The boring part of me loves to do things on my own. I can stay in a coffee shop reading a book and I am really happy with that. You will see me at the floor in Megamall where they show the art works and furniture and for some people really finds it weird, but I enjoy it. I'd rather stay at home, read a lot of stuff in the internet, watch a lot of videos on YouTube, and sing to song lyrics found on the net, but I guess personal interaction is really not my passion.

Call me out of the ordinary. Tell me that I am weird. Shout that I am socially awkward.  And yes, you can say that maybe it is the reason why I am still single, but I know that it is important for someone to embrace his weirdness uniqueness.

And I love being this way. Though sometimes I get a lot of people stereotyping me, my weirdness sometimes became a gauge in being friends with somebody. If they find my awkwardness cute, or they understand how boring I can get, I realized that those people are for keeps. Aside from I will appreciate them big time, they will be assured that I will stick with them for a long time. :D

Happy Monday!

100

After I wrote my post about singlehood, I noticed that it was my 99th post. I spent my whole shift thinking how I will write my 100th post. The 100th article should be something different, something epic, and something that must celebrate my kaartehans drive in maintaining Orange Wit.

I just started blogging, again, last July and never in my wildest dreams have I thought that I will enjoy it. It started when I discovered Google Reader. I was so bored in the office and to kill time, I read blogs. Reading became my motivation to write again. I was inspired by other bloggers who were able to express themselves freely. There were nights when I was excited to go to work not because of my job, but because I will be able to read again Teacher Mot’s blog, I will learn something from Robbie, Glenn will make my day because of his stories, Gelo will introduce a new movie or book, and I will be inspired by the Sole Sisters’ travel. Along with other bloggers, they made me write again.

It was never easy writing. There were days where I felt that my blog wasn’t good enough to even exist. Sometimes, I thought that I am just wasting my time because no one was even reading what I have written. I don’t even know how to edit my blog’s appearance. I still remember that I used to settle with black, white and orange because it was easy creating them. Haha. I don’t even know if I will write in English, because I know my grammar isn’t nice, but whenever I write in Filipino, my posts tends to be lengthy. Most of the time, I doubted myself.

Thanks to Elmer who pushed me to keep and writing, and to Chester who keeps on reading and commenting on my entries, all my doubts subsided.

While I keep on writing, I kept on blog hopping in the office. I learned some tricks. For people to go to your site, you have to visit them as well, give a comment, and tell them how they made your day or how great their post is. Some say that you have to write something that is socially relevant, that way people can relate to it. However, that will be hard for me because aside from I am really socially awkward; I am really not into things that other people like. Blame it on my weirdness, guys.

That was the time I just relied on the things that I love and I enjoyed doing. Reading stuff was one, surfing the net was another, third will be the things that I usually do, and last will be my life. Thankfully, I started having followers and it amazed me how my stats started to increase. I know it was not as good with the blogs that I have on reader, but for a beginner like me, these were the things that made me go back to blogger every day. These were the things that inspired me more.

And now, I am writing my 100th post. Isn’t that lovely? I never thought that I will be able to write this much. It’s crazier thinking that I have people who  read my posts, or even make comments. I feel so blessed, and if you are reading this, with all sincerity, THANK YOU.

Single

Exactly a year ago, I broke up with someone. I caught him with his ex on the same bar where my friends and I went to party. It was something that I never expected, because that same day my Ex told me that he will render OT. To cut the long story short, he lied to me.

I value honesty and trust in every relationship. I knew that things will be okay if he have told me, but the fact that he said one thing and did another just irritated me. That same night, I deleted his number, promised myself that I will never talk to him again, and then the morning after, I blocked him from FB. That was my way of saying goodbye to someone.

My friends told me to give him another chance. Probably, he has a reason for doing what he did that night. Well, we talked about it, I learned how to forgive, but giving another chance will be impossible. It’s hard when trust is already broken. Now, we are just friends, he still invites me to his birthday party, which I never attended, we sometimes text (yeah, after he texted me, I saved his number, haha), and the last time we met was when I went to his Mom’s birthday party.

I am now single for a year. I should have a lot of reason to be depressed. However, I am not. Maybe I just learned to adapt to singleblessedness or probably, I just matured a lot. My friends even started setting me up on blind dates and started introducing so many people, but, I just failed them. Sometimes, I am not interested, and most of the time, I am preoccupied with so many things.

Believe me, I am happy being single. I love that idea that I have more time for myself. I can make decisions on my own. I can stay up all night reading a book instead of texting with someone something that we’ve talked about this morning. Now, I go to malls without the need to wait for someone to fit on clothes or window shop. I can listen to my favorite songs without even explaining myself why I love them. I don’t have to repeat the same things over and over again. I can stay out of the routine of having to watch a movie on a Saturday afternoon, then go to somewhere to have dinner and a couple of drinks, have sex, next will be to sleep, and then wake up on a Sunday just to go to church and have lunch with the rest of his family. I don’t have to adjust with someone else’s schedule and time. Being single provided me freedom and a lot more time to just enjoy myself, my family and my friends.

In one of Paulo Coelho’s book he said that, it’s not enough that you want something, you must also understand what you will do once that thing is already in your possession. I guess that is the reason why I stayed single for this year. Though I want to have a partner, I am still not sure what will I do with him. Hence, while I am still not sure, it is better to stay this way.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not giving up on love or even planning to stay single forever. Sometimes, things just need proper timing. Its better being single than staying in a complicated relationship. I’d rather stay alone than be with someone who will make me lonely. I will choose to be happy with the company of my family and friends than to be with someone who will make me sad. I know that love will just be around the corner, all I need is patience, at siyempre, konting landi. Haha! But for now, I am single and not available.