Hitlist

A Round Table Challenge

A midst the obstacles and the reasons,

We learn to hang on to the things we love

And we lost all the things we worked hard for.

As I start to rewrite our story

The words started to not make sense.

It was messy. It lacked cohesion, and it was ugly.

A heart shaped wreckage floating in the wind.

Still, we need to continue.

Though inaudible, the songs will blast our ears.

We may not be in the same pace

And our worlds may be universe apart

But the melodies brought us here

Safe and sound, with eyes wide open,

And In a state of grace.

The story of us may end with death

But death is just a phase

What happens next is the big finale

And I cannot be more excited

For Forever and always.

Where, there, I will hear your voices in my dreams.

10. Death

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Spiral Prince

Like Ever

A Round Table Challenge

“I thought what happened will never separate us. Why are you doing this now?” The boy said as he stared at the crowd below. He cannot look at her teary eyes, he doesn't want to hear the words that will come from the lips that she loves to kiss; he doesn't want to end this.

It was three months after her miscarriage. Both of them suffered tremendously when the baby went away.

“You are aware of what we both been through, right? We were closed to stopping school because we need to give way for the baby. My father still doesn't talk to me. Your mom is still disappointed with us. How do you act like everything seems okay when both of us are hurting?” The girl said.

This is really happening, he thought. Clouds started to cover the sky. It was like a bad omen informing him that of the tougher things that he needs to face. Losing your first kid was unbearable. Being left behind is hell. Dreams started to falter in his head. A garden wedding after they pass the board exam, a Victorian house somewhere in Makati, kids who will carry his name, a family that he will work hard for and protect, and a  fairy tale ending where everyone will have a happily ever after. They all vanish in thin air.

He still doesn’t say a word. He was not sure where to begin their ending. Finally, the words started pouring in.

“You promised. We promised. We promised that we will be strong. We swore that no matter what people say, we will hang on to what we have.We told each other that no matter how hard things turn out to be, we will just remain together and believe in what we shared. Babe, I am also upset. My heart breaks every day since he was taken away. If you just know how prepared I was to give up school just for both of you. If you just know that I will sacrifice everything to make you more comfortable. I just want you to believe in me. Please, don’t do this.”

Silence.

Tears started to fall on the accounting book in front of her. She still doesn’t look at him. He knew that she was avoiding him. Hope started to surround him. He started believing that what they have can still be saved.

She closed her book, wiped her eyes and started fixing her things. “I love you. I always do. However, love will never be enough for me. I know you have bigger dreams and I really don’t want you wasting them. I also don’t want to waste mine. A lot of people believe in us, and right now, I don’t want the two of us failing them all over again. Love can wait, babe.”

He tried to interrupt however the girl was quick to place his index finger at his lips.

“I want you to be happy. I will forever apologize for this day. If you just know how I despise myself because I cannot even keep our promise. But, please understand that I am too exhausted in believing in the promises that we keep. We are both young. There are still a lot in store for us. Right now, it is best that we concentrate on our dreams first before even believing in us. We have our share of defeat. Let us try to listen to what people say. It is time to give up now. We can always be friends, right?”

Irritated, the boy walked away leaving the girl with her books and her dreams. He knew he was young. Probably the girl was correct. But what she never saw was she was also part of his dreams. Loving her was the epitome of all the things he wanted. Still, she threw it all away.

He continued walking. No turning back now. Adjusting his pace, he walked without even understanding where he was going. All he knew was that moment, he was not happy, and he will not ran back after her.

All the things that he hoped for the two of them suddenly appeared. A garden wedding after they pass the board exam, a Victorian house somewhere in Makati, kids who will carry his name, a family that he will work hard for and protect, and a  fairy tale ending where everyone will have a happily ever after.

The odds with happily ever after is it even things out. They were both happy at some point. Challenged most of the time. And devastated when it all ended. Fair enough.

citybuoy | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince

The Bar Brawl, A Round Table Challenge

What will you have?

Lights. Yun lang ang sanay akong inumin we.

Hindi ka talaga umiinum ano? 

Natuturnoff ka ba kapag ang kasama mo hindi palainum?

Hindi naman. Sanay lang kasi ako na party goers din ang mga nakakadate ko.

Well, hindi naman talaga ako party goer, pinilit mo lang ako kaya ako nandito ngayon. Isa pa, hindi ito date ano.

Ah ganun ba, anong tawag mo pag ang isang tao, niyaya ang isang tao? 

Eh di nagkayayayaan. Ano ba dapat?

Sabagay, ulitin ko ang tanong, ano ang tawag kapag niyaya ng isang tao ang isa pang tao dahil gusto niya ito?

Eh 'di date. So, gusto mo ako?

Di ba sinabi ko na sa iyo na date ito? 

Oh, okay.

Okay. So gusto mo din ba ako?

Ang bilis naman. Pwede bang bored lang ako kaya ako sumama sa iyo? Haha. Pero to answer your question, masasaktan ka ba kapag sinabi kong hindi?

Hindi? Sure? 

Oo. Hindi. Hindi kita gusto.

O, bakit parang napanis ang laway mo? Ano bang gusto mong marinig?

Wala. Sanay lang siguro ako na halos lahat nagkakagusto sa akin. Alam mo yun. Pag pumasok ako sa isang lugar, uuwi ako ng may kasama. Pero ngayon ata, uuwi akong mag isa.

Addict. Sabay naman tayong uuwi we. Magkaibang bahay lang.

Hindi mo ako patutulugin sa inyo?

Hindi rin. Bakit kaya mo ba ako niyaya para lang matulog sa amin?

Hindi naman siguro masama ang mag assume?

So, ineexpect mo na pag uminum tayo, uuwi tayo sa isang lugar?

Am, sort of, kasi ganoon lahat ng nakakasama ko we. Alam mo yun, lahat ng tao nagkakandarapa na maikama ako. 

Haha. Seryoso? Pasensiya ka na ha, hindi ako kagaya ng mga nakilala mo. Tara na, bill out na tayo. 

Hala, hindi pa tayo nakakadalawang bote.

Sabi ko nga, ibahin mo ako sa mga nakilala mo. If you want to stay, okay lang naman, just text me nalang when you got home. Avoid getting used to going home to someone else's house ha.

Saglit lang. Ayaw mo ba sa akin?

Hindi naman. Pero siyempre hindi naman ako ganoong ka easy, no. Malay mo sa next date, isa na ang uuwian natin. 

So, nageexpect ka din ng next date?

Ayun ay kung kapag niyaya kita, sasama ka. Sasama ka ba?

Basta ikaw, nanginginig pa. Tara na, hatid na kita.    

10. The Bar Brawl

citybuoy | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince

Olivia

If you had a clean state, are there things that you'd like to change? Or would you want things to stay the same?

I always believe that I am not a clean slate - and I will never be one. Life will be too boring if we will always keep on doing the right things. 

Changes will always be good. There are things that I definitely want to do differently, this year. However, I am in a stage where I have to be extra cautious with all the things I am doing. Though it is hard to admit, all of us are not getting any younger. In every decision we will make, we have to think of how it will affect us in a longer scale.

However, I know I will still have my positive attitude next year. I am sure. Every experience, good or bad, no matter what it is, you will learn from it. It's just life. 

Happy New Year everyone! :D

9: Starting Over

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Spiral Prince

Cheaters

A Round Table Challenge

How the three of us were tangled still made me grin.


The two of them were married two months before He and I met. I was 23, he was 22 and she was 33.

I worked as a QA in a call center, then.  She was a teacher. And he was on his last year on college where all of his classes started at four in the afternoon.

Our normal day was like this.

Since she and I worked on different shifts. They will leave their house at seven in the morning, while I was on my way home. Our houses were blocks away. He will wait for me at the same waiting shed where she left him.

Then, we will go to their house. We will eat together at the same table where he will lie to her that he doesn’t want to have breakfast. Then, he will let me sleep at their bed. At three PM, I will accompany him to school. After his class (around eight PM), he will drop by our house, I will go to work while he waited for her at the same spot I left him

He was nice. Every time I woke up, he will get me a glass of water, and then he will tell me to sleep again. In moments where I used to have difficulty in sleeping, he will lie down beside me, hugged me, and then sung a lousy version of my favorite song. It was Everywhere I Go by Katherine Mcphee. If she had part time job on Saturday, he and I will go to the market, and then we will cook pasta for our lunch making sure that there will be no leftovers so that she will never notice. Sometimes, we go to the mall, play in the arcade, and then watch a movie while our hands were locked together. We just enjoyed ourselves. The two of us spent each day laughing at how she nagged at him and her silly antics. We will walk the streets of Sta Mesa without even thinking where we will go. We will try all the street foods at Teresa and compare which one taste best knowing that they all stay the same. That was how corny we turned out to be.

 Hence, like any other complicated relationships, what we had never last. Being happy was never enough. While we were sitting at PUP’s lagoon, we realized how worst we became. He started lying to her just to be with me. I started questioning myself if what we have was right. And the two of us made a lot of enemies starting from neighbors who loved to gossips up to my friends who kept asking me why I even let it happen.

Though we were both happy, we realized how weak we can get.

Our breakup was fast. It  happened via SMS. After a year of being in cloud nine amidst the hell that surrounded what we have, one day he just realized how much he loves her, and then I realized how stupid I became. I know it was wrong, but I still allowed it. I know he was the right one, but he was already taken. And though I’ve experienced being in a family where mistresses became a household name, I turned out to be one myself. Though it was hard to accept, I realized that it was best for both of us. Aside from there was nothing left to contemplate on, there was also nothing left to hang onto. We could continue, but if we did, we would make more mistakes, we would hurt more people, and we will just keep on hanging to the cloud that made us float. We will keep on flying until we fall into the ground so hard because we were so high above. We will continue being wrong.

On his breakup text, he said, sana mas maaga kang dumating, para hindi ako sa kanya, at habambuhay akong magiging sa iyo (I wish you came earlier, so that I will never be her’s, and I will be forever yours).

I'd read the last two words as Never Yours.

8: Tracy Chapman's Never Yours

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | Leader of the Opposition | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince

Shadow Clones

A Round Table Challenge
 


It was dark. The air tear up every flesh I have. And the silence is haunting. My feet touched nothing. I was floating. I was dreaming.


I adjusted my stare on the void in front of me, three spotlights suddenly light up. One on my left, another on my right, and the last one glare in front of me. The lights were blinding, It made my eyes burn. Slowly, they started to flicker. I tried to close my eyes however there was something in the shimmering motion that kept me staring wide awake. The lights glittered faster. And there I stand, hypnotized, confused, and curious. Then, there was darkness.


Once the lights flashed up again, I knew I was on a nightmare. There were three individuals underneath the spotlight. They all look like me however their auras were different.


The one on my left has fire in his eyes. It carries all my pains, hatred and regrets. He stares wickedly. His grin frightens me. I knew that my version on the left doesn’t trust easily. He can get rude, condescending and selfish. Me on the left can be deceiving. He can break people’s hearts like smashing a mirror without bleeding his hands. Then, with a dark voice, he started to speak. I am the one you don’t want to be, but I am a part of you. And I am here to fight with you.

 

I looked away, and then focused on the individual on my right. He looks at me compassionately. I can sense his sensitivity, amiability and kindness. After he acknowledged my presence, he gave me a warm smile. He was nice, and I like him. He made me feel that I am on a Walt Disney film where everything is bright and sunny. He reminded me how I am with my family and friends – selfless. And I just want to stay with him. He gave me another pleasant smile before he said, I am the one you must continue becoming. And let me remind you, I am just here.

 

Finally, I stare at the person in front of me. We look the same, but he stood firm on the air we were trapped in. His eyes were cold as the arctic sea. It was powerful. His strength overpowers the two people on my left and right. I knew that his confidence intimidates people. I know that people consider him a rebel because of his i don’t care attitude. Without smiling, he said, I am the one you portray. And you must always remember that I will give you the strength you need.

 

Then, there was darkness.


The spotlight is under me now. And the three individuals shown before were now beside me. I looked at them again, trying to understand what was happening. The first one still looks at me with rage, the next one still has its kindness, and the last still look proud. Suddenly, the three embrace me. And as they enveloped me with their power, I now know what will happen next.


They will become me.

7. Jungian Concept of Individuation

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ  | Orange Wit | Leader of the Opposition

Away

A Round Table Challenge



hAng on.
i will fly you to the moon
make you kiss the clouds
and say hello to the stars
then the two of us will fall
float, fly, then fall
our eyes Watered with glee
two spirits finally become free
All of this will happen,
if you will just know mY name.

6: Spirited Away

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Manila Bitch | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince | Leader of the Opposition

Verbs

A Round Table Challenge

Vanish without saying a word
Disappear and never explain
Combust all hopes and dreams
Then, drag me where no one wants to be.
 
Control the winds that take me away
Block the current where i float aimlessly
Unclog all thoughts that haunt me
Then, heal the wounds that marred me
 
Sing a song
Dance like you’ve never done before
Drink alcohol and puff another smoke
Then, punch something until your blood pour.
 
Clarify all ironies.
Remove the metaphors that were confusing
Comprehend the words said
Then, utter the phrases we both want to hear.
 
Remember how we both feel
Reminisce how happy we were
Let memory be a bitch
Then, make it remind us all the bad things.
 
Destroy the wall where I fence you in
Stay outside and never go back again
for the vagueness of how complicated we were
Created a monster in me that I can’t even portray

____________________________________________________________

 

 

 

5: The Mean Reds

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Manila Bitch | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince | Leader of the Opposition

Photo Credit

Too Late to Wait

A Round Table Challenge

Let me make this quick.

Both of us are going in circles. Words, arguments, and blame get so repetitive and yes, it gets tiring.

You know what you did to me?  Its ironic thinking that we keep on saying that we don’t hurt each other.

But, still, both of us are in pain. Now, I guess I am numb, but I am glad I am ending this now.

Shh… Don’t even start to explain, I am not listening. Don’t ask me to sit and talk about this, because we are done with that. It never work, and I know it will not work now. Let us spare the two of us from more hurt.

So Darling, never ask me to stay, or to wait. Because its too late.

---

 

4: Late

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Manila Bitch | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince | Leader of the Opposition

In My Dreams

Sleeping Beauty

in my dreams, the world is endless,

the sky change from saffron to vermillion to cerulean,

the rain tastes like lime,

and the air smells like blood orange.

in my dreams, i move gracefully.

like a bamboo swinging when the cold november wind blew.

i dance with felicity.

i swirled and twirled and do side steps.

the pas de bourrée, pirouettes, and the piqués are on point.

in my dreams, i sang the songs of love and joy.

i compose the melody that will make you feel a warm glow of contentment.

in my dreams, i drew inspiration from the sycamore and the robins.

then, i belt out a lullaby to make all creatures slumber.

in my dreams, it’s a whole new world.

a world created by me and for me,

where pain and desperation never exists,

and where happy thoughts can lift you up in the air.

in my dreams

i fly through the stratosphere with the moon on my background

i swim and discover the world below the waves.

in my dreams

my world is beautiful, wonderful and astonishing.

but, in my dreams, i am alone.

and though surrounded with beauty, in my dreams, i am lonely.

in my dreams, i dream of one thing.

i want the dreaming to end.

3: Walt Disney Princesses

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Orange Wit | Spiral Prince | Manila Bitch | Leader of the Opposition

Clouds

 

So close, but still so far.

It feels like I am the dark clouds and you are the immeasurable ocean below me. With the sun’s warmth, you will complete my way of life. You will make the cycle turn. You will help me create or destroy, cultivate or destruct, nurture or annihilate, and bless or leave someone hopeless.

It’s amazing how you affect me, though we seem so close, yet, so far.

Up above, everything is dwarf like. The details are so precise. Like an amazing work of art that describe how the earth’s surface differs – desserts are smooth, mountains show its peak, and the vast plains seems to be a never-ending shade of emeralds. Trees will be the lime dots in the brown soil. Rivers and highways are the snake like lines that doesn’t have a beginning or an end. Skyscrapers are the small square like creations surrounded by ant like cars. Circles describe relationships between places and people.

From where I am, you are just part of the whole masterpiece.

You are just a dot in the whole mix of colors. A pixel jumbled with all the browns, beiges, oranges and blues. You are supposed to be nothing, but up above; you are the only thing I see.

I am just your best friend. While you are the reason why I feel suspended in thin air, fantasizing how magical the world can be once you are beside me. You just don’t help me exist. You help Dreaming more exciting.

You are so close, but still, so far.

And you just don’t know how much I want to smash into you.

Photocredit

*citybuoy *♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ *ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ *Orange Wit *Spiral Prince

White Russian Doll

Title From Lucky Soul

Life is too short to live within restraints.

I have read this somewhere while blog hopping thru my reader. Too bad, I am really not good in remembering things, and even if I did remember where I got this statement, this eight word statement is more than enough to leave me sleepless one scorching summer afternoon.

Now, I am looking at this Matryoshka doll and the first thing that I thought of is restraints. The bigger doll needs to be opened in order to get the smaller doll, until you get the smallest doll inside.

Sometimes, restraints affect us in ways that we will never see coming. Fears will make us more afraid, insecurities will make us ugly, and failures will always break us down. Problems will never leave us and no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves that we are strong, there will be points that we will be vulnerable.

Like this doll, you and the things that bother you will always be together. But it’s best to treat them like these nested dolls.

Make sure that your fears, insecurities, and failures will always be the smaller part of you. Never allow them to grow bigger, and if the moment come they did, just twist and open them into two for you to find the strength that was there all along.

citybuoy | ♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ | ןıuǝ oɟ ɟןıƃɥʇ | Orange Wit | Sitting Pretty | Spiral Prince

Starting May First

This is exciting! :D