Exactly a year ago, I broke up with someone. I caught him with his ex on the same bar where my friends and I went to party. It was something that I never expected, because that same day my Ex told me that he will render OT. To cut the long story short, he lied to me.
I value honesty and trust in every relationship. I knew that things will be okay if he have told me, but the fact that he said one thing and did another just irritated me. That same night, I deleted his number, promised myself that I will never talk to him again, and then the morning after, I blocked him from FB. That was my way of saying goodbye to someone.
My friends told me to give him another chance. Probably, he has a reason for doing what he did that night. Well, we talked about it, I learned how to forgive, but giving another chance will be impossible. It’s hard when trust is already broken. Now, we are just friends, he still invites me to his birthday party, which I never attended, we sometimes text (yeah, after he texted me, I saved his number, haha), and the last time we met was when I went to his Mom’s birthday party.
I am now single for a year. I should have a lot of reason to be depressed. However, I am not. Maybe I just learned to adapt to singleblessedness or probably, I just matured a lot. My friends even started setting me up on blind dates and started introducing so many people, but, I just failed them. Sometimes, I am not interested, and most of the time, I am preoccupied with so many things.
Believe me, I am happy being single. I love that idea that I have more time for myself. I can make decisions on my own. I can stay up all night reading a book instead of texting with someone something that we’ve talked about this morning. Now, I go to malls without the need to wait for someone to fit on clothes or window shop. I can listen to my favorite songs without even explaining myself why I love them. I don’t have to repeat the same things over and over again. I can stay out of the routine of having to watch a movie on a Saturday afternoon, then go to somewhere to have dinner and a couple of drinks, have sex, next will be to sleep, and then wake up on a Sunday just to go to church and have lunch with the rest of his family. I don’t have to adjust with someone else’s schedule and time. Being single provided me freedom and a lot more time to just enjoy myself, my family and my friends.
In one of Paulo Coelho’s book he said that, it’s not enough that you want something, you must also understand what you will do once that thing is already in your possession. I guess that is the reason why I stayed single for this year. Though I want to have a partner, I am still not sure what will I do with him. Hence, while I am still not sure, it is better to stay this way.
Please, don’t get me wrong. I am not giving up on love or even planning to stay single forever. Sometimes, things just need proper timing. Its better being single than staying in a complicated relationship. I’d rather stay alone than be with someone who will make me lonely. I will choose to be happy with the company of my family and friends than to be with someone who will make me sad. I know that love will just be around the corner, all I need is patience, at siyempre, konting landi. Haha! But for now, I am single and not available.