Can you remember the day when you are nothing but stupid? My version of stupidity is plastered in my head like beer cans glued together to create a sword.
Rizal Day. I arrived at Talipayong at two o clock in the afternoon carrying a bag of clothes good for two days. It was a barangay forty minutes via tricycle from Baliguag, Bulacan’s town proper. The place was pretty rural. Lots of rice fields, plenty of fresh air from the luscious trees, and all the farm animals you can think of. I went there because my ex invited me to celebrate New Year’s Eve with his family, and when I arrived there, I found out that that I wasn’t the only one he invited, he also invited his current. I started feeling that it will be a long 24 hours.
There was a nipa house outside their house. It stands beside the outside kitchen where my ex’s mom and I chatted about all the nonsensical things that can possibly talk out. I avoided my ex too much because (1) I am still bitter (2) I haven’t moved on and (3) I’m starting to feel stupid. Night came. After dinner I sat at the porch in front of the hut, smoking my lungs out to stop the awkward feeling. His current doesn’t know that I was the ex. My ex just told me that I was a friend from the boarding house.
When I started preparing myself to sleep, I went to the bedroom at the main house to find that my ex’s brother and his family are sleeping at the room. I looked at the sofa and another brother was sleeping there. I don’t need my ex to tell me that three of us will sleep together in one place – unfortunately, it was the nipa house outside. I loathed myself more when I went inside the hut and saw only one bed. Oh yeah, it will be messy.
We never slept early. First we chatted about random things. I acted my way so I will just get use to the three of us being together. We will sleep in the same place, anyways. But after they freshen up, I lie down at the bed side nearest the door and pretended to be busy with my phone. My ex then lies down beside me followed by his current. I force myself to sleep, forcing my head to stop thinking how impossible the three of us can get. However, they kept on talking. You will hear them kissing. And all their hugging makes sleeping with a couple on the same bed nothing but ultimately stupid. Hey, he is my ex by the way! Then the plan started running on my head. Definitely, this will not continue.
I checked my phone when the farm started to become quiet. It was two in the morning. I stood up as quietly as possible and when my ex saw me, I just told him that I need to pee. I quietly descended the hut, enter the back door near the kitchen, proceeded as quietly as possible to the room where my bag was placed, passed the sofa afraid that his brother will woke up, tried to open the door house, succeeded, then without turning back, I left.
What have I gotten myself into? I ask myself this question as I transverse the rough road on my way to town. Hugging my bag in my chest while my left hand carries my phone to light my path, I noticed that there was nothing safe in what I am doing. I am some 22 year old stranger from Manila, in my house clothes walking past dark rice fields praying that no snake will suddenly cross the street, no dogs will bark and chase the hell out of me, no supernatural being will block my path and most especially no bad guys with deadly weapon will try to rob or rape me. I was gratuitous enough to realize that I didn’t wear any sneakers because that will be another problem. Haha. I never walked that fast in my entire life. Adrenaline took over my body because basically I don’t want anything either my ex or anything else catching me. He will find out eventually that I left.
And I was correct. I was walking for thirty minutes when I received his text asking me where I am. “I’m on my way home,” I replied. He started texting that it was not safe leaving at this hour (which I know), that I could have stayed until morning (which is not an option), and if there is anything wrong. Some people can really get more stupid compared to other people. I never replied his messages because I can. Then I was sure he started getting pissed because the tone of his text was starting to get nasty. I never replied until he told me to stay where I was and he will go there to get his clothes. Then there was flashback. When I left for manila he kept on texting me to bring him clothes because he was so excited to go home that he didn’t bring anything. Smiling wickedly, I replied, “ay sorry, wala kang damit dito. Don’t get me wrong, I have clothes for both of us pero they are all my clothes. Im sure you’ll figure something out.”
Another 20 minutes of walking and my savior came. Seeing a tricycle was the happiest thing that happened to me that morning. I was so happy that I paid the driver a hundred bucks when he dropped me off the bus terminal. Leaving for Manila never felt that well.
Though these happened eons ago, this stupidity still makes me smile. I always believe that it is okay to be stupid sometimes. When you became stupid, you learn. When you took the wrong curves, it will make you reflect on the things that you mistakenly commit and then you’ll start hoping that you can still make things right. Without stupidity, life will be dull and boring. I’m not saying that we all become stupid. Let’s just try not making the same mistakes again. And in case you did, don’t fret; I am still rooting for you.
Thank you for reading this super duper long post. Haha!