I still don’t understand why people here wake up at 5:30 in the morning. Who wakes up at five o clock, right? However the cold wind is biting, like needles piercing thru your warm skin. I love the sweet morning air in Sariaya, it is so refreshing. However, the provincial environment makes me feel so slow, and I am not used to it.
Then I hear her voice, she was shouting my mother’s name. I think that it is the only name she knows now. At the age of 92, it still surprise us that she can still remember her mother’s name though she already forget how to pee and defecate properly. She doesn’t even remember the people around her. She gets irritated easily. My nephews and nieces went to the house yesterday and she was shouting asking them to leave because they were so noisy. One morning as I pass her bed, she started shouting at me telling me that she doesn’t know me, and she just asks me to leave. Every time I checked on her, she will always be like that, as if I was a complete stranger to her. Since my grandmother gets hysterical every time she saw me, my mom told me to just stay out of her way, which I did.
It saddens us seeing her that way. She was just lying on her bed, having a hard time to even sit. The other day, she just said that when she died, she wants her wake to be a feast. Monday, we will serve spaghetti, Tuesday, pansit, Wednesday, chicken soup, Thursday, Chicken Sotanghon, and on Friday we have to serve Pansit habhab. Nakakahiya daw sa mga bisita niya, she said. She continued, saying that we should get her a good coffin so that she will not fall, she already said where she wants her grave to be in, and we should not even worry because there will be money that we can use for her.
However, my mom, my aunt, and I are used to this. My grandmother giving us instructions on the things that we should do and us telling her that she will have another birthday and we promise that it would be grand. We told her that everyone will be there, it will have all of her favorite foods, and we will all wear her favorite color – red. However she just said that we should just save the money for the wake.
I watched my mom remove her beddings while she continued talking. She started calling my Grandfather’s name now. My mom will always be teary eyed while my aunt and I will just watch.
Zaida (my mom’s name), alagaan mo ang sarili mo ha. Wag mong papabayaan si Nita (my aunt) ha, magtutulongan kayo.
My mom just remains silent while she continue fixing my grandmother’s stuff.
Alagaan mo ang bahay, wag mo hahayaan na may ibang tumira. Pero pag yung apo ko na paborito, papatirahin mo ha.
My Aunt and I stare at each other. Surprisingly, my grandmother has a favorite grandchild. It was so intriguing because my grandma was never known to play favorites. She bitches on all of her family members in a caring, funny and tolerable way. She loves giving out orders and she makes sure that what she wants, she gets. We started to smile as we eagerly wait for a name to be called by my grandmother.
Patitirahin mo si Lourdjenn ha.
My Mom then looked at me while my Aunt and I started laughing. It’s nice knowing that my grandmother remembers my name though she doesn’t remember how I look like. Now, I understand why Karen while smiling on that old McDonalds Commercial.
Yes! Very Karen ang peg!
I miss you Inana. RIP.
The Emo Blogger's Happy Blogging Challenge: Amnesia