Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I caught her cheating on me.
It was an ordinary day at Kalayaan, the vehicles were passing like they always does, the weather was humid and I was trying to cut my pork chop on the black sizzling plate when Officemate 1 dropped the news. I finished my lunch while she told me how she beat the hell out of her girl friend when she caught her and another girl in her apartment. For you not to be that confuse, yes, it was a girl girl another girl story. lols.
Buti hindi mo napatay, I said. As you were aware, my friend has a tendency to always be on the extreme side of things. Extreme meaning I was afraid that I will visit someone at the girl's prison, and just give her comforting words there. Good thing, we were still in Kalayaan.
After she spilled how dramatic/comedic the whole thing was. Like every other friend who has a friend with a love problem, I told her to leave the girl alone. However there is something that she said that stuck me:
Ang nakakabadtrip kasi, kahit sobrang sakit na, hindi ko pa din magawang alisin siya sa puso.
How you will console someone who love like that?
*photo from here
Monday, March 3, 2014
I know I am in no position to hurt someone. However, I feel that if I will not do that, there will be another person who I will hurt. Someone more personal, someone who understands and care for me, someone who loves me more. Myself.
Now I go back to the days where I long for someone. Where I reflect all the stupidity, crazy relationships, and mistakes I ever made and in between all the thoughts that hovers in my head I am starting to ask myself if this is what I want? Is he what I want?
Most of all, how will I get out?
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
I thought I have everything under control last year. However, the problem with control is you cannot control anything - it is either you just became responsible for every stupid decision you made, or you just let go and just enjoy the flow.
Last year, I was close to going berserk. Honestly, things way go too out of hand that I no longer understand what happened. Probably, that is also the reason why I have been absent on this page. Aside from I don't want to rant about things, I also want to forget the moments where I have was in the lowest of lows. Too bad it never work.
If there are any perks on being in a sort of hell state, I became closer with my family. After several years of being independent and suffering the price of it, nothing beats the feeling the love your family give. Its like going back through the core of all the things you are working hard for. Finally, I remembered the goals I am working hard for.
And as the year change, I will admit that things aren't back to how they were supposed to be. But, as always, in every second chance that we have to fix our shits, we just have to rely that this time we will not screw up. And as always, we must never be afraid to try.
"the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all
Monday, January 6, 2014
I always believe that opposites attract. We are magnets where we repel each other if we are on the same side. And honestly, I never see myself falling for someone who is like me – enjoys reading books, plays online games, will watch series on his free time, and love Sherlock Holmes. No. Never. Will. Never. Happen.
Well, until he came.
And right now, all I can say is, “I don’t want to lose you now.”