Sunday, February 10, 2013
As always, the clouds above me are still in shades of gray. Staying in this part of the universe called life can get exhausting, but the last time I checked on myself, I am still breathing. I am still okay.
There are a lot of things I am exhausted about: responsibilities that kept of piling up, expectations that you always have to meet, staying on a job that is close to making you self destruct and being alone in all the battlefields you throw yourself into.
Life is tough. But, life is tougher when you are a breadwinner who wants to resign from work because you are no longer happy (aside from it doesn’t provide well) but cannot resign because you think that starting over may make things more complicated.
There were days where I miss my old life. I miss the moments where I still work in a BPO. I long for the perks and all the things that go with taking calls. Though the job can be more exhausting, the opportunity to experience more things makes it okay. It levels the playing field of stress, monotony and of course, lack of sleep.
I am still thinking about the reason which halts me to resign. Is it my three year tenure in the office? Is it my friends at work? Or, is it the lean moments where a shift will end and you will feel relieved because you hardly do anything? I don’t know.
All I know is that I am having a struggle deciding what to do in the next couple of months. My head is so confused right now.
Okay, I am ranting. I am sorry.