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Monday, August 6, 2012

Awakening


Where will I start this?

I really want to tell you guys how us started but  things has been complicated in the last four days. Who would have thought that a lot of things can happen in four days? You will meet someone, get close to him, see sparks, started hoping that the feelings will last, and then you will break his heart. All of that happen in four days. 

The truth will always be the least popular story. Cliches will always say that it will set you free, true  enough, it did. It set me free. Free from him, his stories, his thoughts and his world. And if this is being free, well, I don't want to be free again.

But still things need to be liberated. We have to get out of the abyss that we put ourselves into. You need to see the light at the end of the tunnel, or at least try to find it. You have to learn to stand up for you to start running. Everything affects everything. Something must start somewhere.

I decided to start something now.

Where will I start? Contemplating where will you start moving on will really be the toughest stage. But I have wonderful friends. Thanks to Addie, she reminded me where should I start this. She said,  forgive yourself first and it all follows.

The truth was out, and when he found out that I lied about a lot of things. I already did my part, I wrote him a long email and I apologize a lot of times. Maybe it will never be enough, and definitely, I know where his rage is coming from, but I think I have done my part. It is time to ask forgiveness from myself.

LJ, I am sorry. 

10 comments:

  1. oh, lj, don't beat yourself up. shit happens a lot of times. but you're right. just brush yourself up and move on. we can't win them all. PM

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  2. oh... i miss a lot from you,havent realize that until this very moment...i think this has been the first time ive ever read something like this from your blog...maybe your right,anything can happen in just a glimpse of time...but i do believe your strong than you ever though on your self...

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  3. omg...ive already write something here then suddenly ive click something that is why im writing my comment again...im gonna rephrase what ive said just a while ago...hmmmm i think i put it this way, this is the 1st time ive read post from your blog that is sad as this...my blogging bocklog's really reminds me how long ive been away cause i think i miss a lot from you... but yeah your right indeed a lot can happen in a span of 4 days even if in just a glimpse a lot can happen...hopefully the situation will be fine at least...your strong more than you know...

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  4. well for my the word sorry already means a lot it may not fix anything but its the most civil and probably the first right thing to do after things went wrong

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  5. Awww LJ, I have to agree with PM. Shit happens but you just have to deal with it. And I am happy to hear that you've decided to deal with it. Don't be too hard on yourself dear. Hugs!

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  6. Here's me offering my tightest hug in hopes of healing your wounds.

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  7. Everyone, Thank you. You just don't know how much your words touch me.

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  8. Ahhhh ... but the real question is: what did you lie about LJ? And why?

    Hay, if you could, would you do things differently? But perhaps that isn't really the right question now. Water under the bridge. What's done ... cannot be undone.

    But it can be forgiven, that much I do know. I hope you feel better soon LJ, and that you'll find a way to make things better. I wish the best for you. (But seriously, enough of the lying.) I'm just teasing you.

    K

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