Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Last Friday, Nate and I were exchanging text messages about questions that normally come out on interview. Nate is currently unemployed that is why he ask me if I will be able to give him questions and answer it that way, if the question will show up on his interview, he will be able to answer them confidently.

Since I am a good friend, I give him what he wanted. I told him some of the questions that were ask to me before when I was still applying. I just hope it works for him the way it worked for me before.

If there is one thing that I am really confident at, I may say that one of them is job hunting. For the past seven years that I have been working, most of the interviews that I attended, I pass. I am really not sure how it happens. It seems that every time I am looking for a job, I transform into a different type of being, I become more and more aggressive to the point that my confidence just translate to every single thing I am saying. Unlike most people, I really don’t get scared with questions. I remained calm no matter how tough a query is.

In exchange, Nate taught me how to flirt. He told me the things that he noticed while we were together. That I am really into my position, I am a little intimidating and sometimes I really don’t blend well. He also told me to use toner on my face, to apply a whitening lotion on my body, and to wax my hair. He also did not forget to advise me that I should start to dress well, maybe become a metro sexual or some sort. His ideas were crazy. Some of them were verging on something that I am not used to. Sigh, I don’t know what happened to me! I know that work has overpowered me that sometimes I get so into it I already forgot to take care of myself. It sucks, but it’s true.

What just happened in our conversation just made me realized how magnificent our Lord is. He will never give what everything to you. Some things are definitely your turf and certain stuff needs a lot of polishing. Sometimes, I am wishing that I will be more confident with myself when it comes to interacting, meeting and flirting with other people, though I know that I have a lot to offer, sometimes, I just find it hard showing it without being intimidating, and sometimes cocky. Confusion is hitting me now. The battle between my confident and my timid self is really stressful and upsetting and sometimes it will get ultimately depressing.

Hence, I am still hopeful. Knowing that there are things that I am good and not good at is also comforting. At least, I don’t have to worry of starving because I know that I will land on a job instantly. However, like what I told Nate, victories are useless if you don’t have any one to share it with. Sometimes, it’s not fun. No matter if you created a big difference to somebody, having no one is really sad. Balance, where are you? I really need you now, and I need you fast!

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